It’s funny really because even though I’m 24, I moved out of my parent’s house 5 years ago and I bring home the dollar everyday, in my head I don’t see myself as being grown up.
When I was little I was always looking up to the people that were older than me. Parents and family friends seemed to be so wise and it looked like they had everything together. At school, the year above were the cool cats, they were taller, rebellious and seemed way more grown up than me and my friends. I couldn’t wait to look their age, but when September rolled around it always felt that our year never seemed to look as old as they did. Even through sixth form, University and graduating I found it strange to think I was now the age of the people I had once aspired to be, because I really didn’t feel like I had grown up.
Did anyone else feel this way?
Of course this was just in my head because I really was getting older, but it made me realise how important our perception of age is; how others perceive us but also about how we perceive ourselves.
In a previous post I talked about how I used to picture what I would be like when I was grown up. I imagined how I would look and the things I would have; a house, a car, my own family. Many of these things are still important to me now, but I’ve realised I don’t just want my life to focus on achieving these things. Who we are as people, our values and what we stand for are just as important as the things we want to have.
So I’ve decided to make a to-do list for myself. I love jotting down a list of things I need to get done each week, but instead of it consisting of the things I need to buy, the chores I need to do or goals I want to achieve, this list is different. It’s about the person that I am now, the ways in which I want to grow and the person I want to become.
I’m sure many people would agree there’s never a set point when you suddenly feel like you’ve grown up. Life isn’t like Sims where you magically transform from a teen into a full fledged adult (which is probably a good thing, because it would not only be terrifying if it caught you by surprise but also highly inconvenient). And although I hope a part of me will always feel like a big kid, here are a few of the of who I want to be when I grow up:
- a better friend- I can be a sucker for allowing the craziness of life get in the way of my friendships. So I want to make time to spend with the people I care about, to know how they really are and be there for them, even when it doesn’t fit around my schedule. Oh, and surface level chat can do one hun.
- a better listener- I’m the gal that meets someone for the first time and instantly forgets their name. DUH! It can be really hard to actually listen and focus in on what someone is saying to us when we’re wrapped up in our own world with our own set of things we need to do. But I’ve realised, 1) I’m not as interesting as I think I am and, 2) it’s much easier to make friends with someone when you can remember their name…
- not take myself too seriously- it makes life a bit boring when we’re not able to have a good ol’ laugh & cringe at ourselves, no?
- step out of my comfort zone more- when debating about whether to go for it and start my own blog, I was a little nervous about what my friends & family might think. A fashion & lifestyle blog!? How v. millennial of me! They, of course, were lovely and are so interested to hear all about my lil’ website, but regardless of their reactions I’m so glad that I took that first step. At the end of the day, if there’s something you want to do but you’re worried about what people might think, you should go for it. It’s a cliche, but life is short so we should spend our time wisely. I don’t want to live a life that’s been restricted in any way out of a fear of people might think. I want to push myself to try new things, be open to exciting and daunting opportunities and, at the end of the day, follow what makes me happy.
These are some challenges to myself and if I can look back and feel that I’ve done my best at growing into this person then I’ll be a happy (old) gal.
So, who do you want to be when you grow up?
- Coat- PrettyLittleThing
- Dress- Nastygal
- Ankle boots- Topshop
Photography- Olivia Foley